Ancestry Adventure part 2

This is the continuation of my experience with

While I waited (and waited and waited) for my box to come, I was forced to confront certain legitimate fears of my DNA being forever held in a database:


“This is the story of the next decade: companies that started out amassing huge databases of compromising information will be targeted: first by cops and spies (hi there, OPM!), then by civil litigants (something like 80% of all divorce cases now involve a subpoena to Facebook), then by criminals (hello, Ashley Madison!)”

While Ashley Madison’s target users are a bit different than users (hellooo senior citizens!), I don’t see my information gained being at risk or being blackmail-or-whatever-able (unless I find out I’m related to Hitler, Ted Cruz, or some other asshole I’d rather pretend I wasn’t).

While I’m already pretty much “on cop the grid” to begin with (my fingerprints were taken just so that I could APPLY for a job at a grade school which kind of hacked me off because 1. I felt like a criminal and 2. why fingerprints? — rant for another time), I still don’t see much point in protecting this part of my privacy. I want answers; this is the next best thing to them.

Is there some drug test like anxiety people fear, thinking that it will expose more than their ancestry and more so their life habits? Because then, yeah, I could see how it would feel like an invasion of privacy.

The LEAST dystopian fear I can read into this is white people not wanting to find black relatives because their ancestors were slave holders or some other Ben Affleck-ian thought. All others I can see hitting the fan in a few more futuristic years. Not going to worry about that now.


To the spit kit!


Fit in my mailbox perfectly.


Pandora opens the DNA box.


I spit in this thing.

Inside was a little mailer (that I found *almost* hard to get the spit tube safely into. But don’t worry! The spit fit. But at an angle, though). I dropped it in the mail box, activated the code online, and will now have to wait 6-8 weeks for results.



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